Thursday, 23 July 2009

Emergency swine

The British government is launching a swine flu emergency hotline in order to alleviate the burden on the National Health Service. Doubtless it will suffer the same fate as the normal emergency 999 service and end up being swamped by people calling about their lost pets, how to find a taxi after midnight and complaining about shoddy service in shops.

Today I'd like to commend another blogger to you; Alan Burnett. Alan unfortunately comes from the wrong side of the Pennines, but we won't hold that against him. In the last few days Alan has blogged about his descent into deafness in a most humorous and well written manner. Page down to this Monday's post, where he starts the story and read from there. I guarantee you'll be hooked.


  1. Anybody know if you flood your system with alcohol would it inhibit/reduce swine flu complications, I ask because my wife is not the strongest person respiratory wise, chemo therapy has taken its toll in the last few years and I am very wary of the news statement pandered about "underlying medical problems"?

  2. Hello ? Hello ? Is this the swine flu emergency hotline ? Yes ? Well, I'd to complain about my neighbour because he's a real swine.

    Righ, I'm off to Alan's place. See you around.

  3. Anonymous, swill away: I say if you're gonna die of something called Swine Flu, get drunk beforehand and ACT like a real pig, at least...Jesus, I mean, forget dying of such a shittily-named disease for nuthin'.....

  4. Mike: Staying in a persistent vegetative state through inebriation would stop you going out to catch it in the first place.

    Kapgaf: He's worth a visit.

    Braja: Thought you were off to other climes for a bit.

  5. Will swine flu make my fingernails break? Or will it give me split ends?
    I'll give 'em a ring to find out....

  6. Bill that is both unexpected and flattering. Thank you so very much.

  7. Scarlett: you may have to phone them for directions to the beauty parlour.

    Alan: Well deserved praise.

  8. I am off over to Alan's - Thank you for the recommendation - Is it also a Swine Flu-free Zone? I hope so... Pass the alcohol - I mean, the alcohol hand-gel...

  9. My boss had to ring 999 form work and swears he actually got an answering machine!( However I would not like to vouch for the honesty of my boss, as the wages he pays are criminal ).
    Not really sure what good a swine flu hot line is going to do.