Wednesday, 13 January 2010

Chavtastic Hotel Holidays

Seems Channel 4 is looking for a terminally ill person to donate their body for the ultimate reality show which will follow the mummification process.

Hay and I want to buy a faded Victorian hotel in some seaside resort and set up our own holiday business. We want to call it Chavtastic Hotel Holidays. Guests will benefit from the following:

• Take away of your choice in your room on arrival,
• Four-poster pine bed with plastic accident protection cover,
• Complimentary copy of Heat Magazine in your room,
• Complimentary fake tan,
• Safety deposit box for your bling,
• One free sessions at the in-house tanning parlour and nail bar,
• Stiletto spike repair service,
• Karaoke in the bar,
• 5-4-1 Barcardi Breezer offer,
• All-you-can-eat hang-over breakfast buffet,
• Sunglasses rental for morning-after,

For those of a musical bent, I recently ran across Chill Radio on the satellite TV system. Give it a whirl – there’s an interweb player at the website.


  1. Thinking about Channel 4's offer. The key question for me must be: will Channel 4 guarantee a First-class voyage to the afterlife (complete with cat companions) once I'm mummified?

  2. Hmmmm...

    You might be on a winner there. I'll pass on the fake tan - don't need it!

  3. What is it about these chavs? My mates' bought a large TV and now calls herself one of these.

  4. Louise: If you're lucky you might get a pyramid.

    Fletch: Guessed as much.

    Jenny: They are the epitome of taste and refinement.

  5. Oh Bill ,I hate to tell but the target group for your holiday is already catered for it's just called a caravan park.
    Sun Reader Holidays ( we call them Scum Bleeder Holidays )
    I apologise to those of you that may be normal people who enjoy these holidays but I can assure you the normal ones are in the minority.

  6. Woman: A mistake. I was clearing out blogs that hadn't been updated in months. I shall reinstate you.

    Kerrie: I'll have you know that caravan park holidays are very economical and I avail myself of their facilities and locations to save money.

  7. Bill: and you would be made more than welcome at our caravan park, just mind the chavs on your way in.

  8. I should hope so, or else I'll be round there to throttle you!