Thursday, 28 January 2010


A French parliamentary committee has recommended a partial ban on women wearing Islamic face veils. If women want to go around covered in blankets then why shouldn’t they? After all, if it was alright for Michael Jackson’s kids then it should be alright for anyone.

If the veil were to be banned in the UK, then the practise of putting a blanket over the heads of heinous criminals as they are led into and out of court would also have to be curtailed. Criminals would additionally be forbidden to wear balaclavas and stockings over their faces while in public places, such as banks, post offices, jewellery shops and convenience stores.

The one item of clothing I would like to see banned in the UK is the short T-shirt, jumper or cardigan that displays fat women’s muffin tops. These symbols of female oppression are a disgrace, especially when the women are sporting chav stamps (lower back tattoos). In fact, I’d vote for the mandatory wearing of niqabs or burkas by these women to prevent unwarranted assaults on the eyes of men.

How about banning the flip-flop, more commonly know throughout the seafaring community as the Chinese seaboot. The flip-flop is the standard footwear of Chinese seafarers the world over from the tropics or the poles and is the single largest cause of foot injury aboard ships.

Other names under which the flip-flop masquerades include;

  • Chinese safety boot,
  • Chinese snow shoes,
  • Chinese hiking boots,
  • Chinese desert boots,
  • Chinese running spikes and
  • Chinese ice skates.

What item of clothing or footwear would you ban?


  1. Sometimes I'm envious of the French (only sometimes ;) - I wished I lived in a properly secular country and one (rightly or wrongly) that put its money where its mouth is in defence of that idea.

  2. I'd ban tights, has to be the most off putting item of clothing a woman wears ughh! The person who invented them should be hung with them.

  3. It depends on who is wearing the tights!

  4. ...anything in beige should be banned...
    I like flip-flops.

  5. The 'neck tie'. Even the name conjures up visions of an assault to the human body.

    On second thoughts, belay that. I'm in favour of capital punishment. Many a paedophile should be forcibly made to wear one. A very tightly knotted one ...

  6. Steve: I don't envy the poor creatures. They're French, after all.

    Mike: I can but agree.

    Mark (Anon): True.

    Scarlet: I adore beige.

    Fletch: You old right winger, you.

  7. I agree with you CB on the midriff, but I'd like to ban the jeans that don't cover enough. I can't imagine the moment when a girl puts such items on, looks at herself all over in the mirror, and thinks "I look GOOD in this"...

  8. High-waist thongs combined with hip-level jeans. Ugh. I don't care how pretty or lacy the knickers are, I still don't really care to see them. But surely these AND the muffin tops displayed by short t-shirts could be dealt with by high-waisted jeans?
    I think the flip-flop applies to most of Asia. I once watched a Nepalese porter skip past me in his flip flops whilst carrying a stack of ten chairs across a rocky mountain path. And there was me with my Vibram soled walking boots and rucksack, doing a fantastic impression of Bambi on Ice...

  9. Do you have a beige weatherproof jacket?

  10. I would ban Uggs - or Ugh as they should be spelt. Perhaps I am just jealous as my feet are cold.

  11. I wouldnt ban all thongs but the ones that are 'rhinestone encrusted' are down right dangerous and a health hazard.

  12. As PVB knows me as well, if not better than some, he will know that we have hit upon two of my favorite UGHS!

    Pantihose,( tights) known in the world to be the main cause of broken wrists in men... and well we simply wont go into the health issues.. they should all be replaced with good old fashioned stockings, Nylons and the sussie belt.( nearly said garter belt as the natives over here care to call them) Much more satisfactory all around and they do look so much nicer.
    I wear them every day for perfect results

    Flip Flops.. I am assured by my husband a former mariner, that well known, lesser paid seafarers, became known as flipflops, its stuck as here in the USA its now commonly used as an endearing name for residents or former residents of the Philippines.

    The Tat is known as the "tramp stamp" here in the USA and I agree all around.
    Shoes, Now the men will agree and the ladies will not.. Stilettos, 4 inch and above ( except for Hay who already towers over the diminutive PVB) Ladies will moan with the pain factor but they do look good on you girls... keep that special pair close to the bed for the "whore in the bedroom" look ! They don't hurt when your on your back !

    Ah.. a subject worth mentioning ! see my web site for some pain !