Friday, 25 December 2015

Statuesque Palestinian Spoilers


Hay: "When are you going to take the recycling out? You've walked past the box 4 times already."

Chairman: "I'm sorry, my psychic gene is malfunctioning. As you put the recycling box by the door, my entirely logical assumption was that you were going to take it out when it stops pissing down with rain. Perhaps I should try the same strategy in spring and just put the mower on the garden in the hope you'll mow the lawn." 

I do wish the BBC news would stop printing spoilers about the Queen's Christmas Speech.

I hear it's illegal to celebrate Christmas in Brunei. Wonder if it's illegal to celebrate Yule? When you think of it, 90% of what we do is pagan and not Christian - the tree, the holly, the giving of presents, the stuffing of ourselves, etc.

Cecil Rhodes is causing some consternation among wrong-headed, revisionist university radicals. If his statue is to be removed, then it logically follows that virtually every statue in the UK should be removed:
  • William the Conqueror - foreign bastard who came over here taking all our aristocracy jobs,
  • Winston Churchill - a vociferous racist who sanctioned the bombing of Dresden,
  • William Wilberforce - an anti-slaver who wanted to convert all the Hindus to Christianity,
  • Lord Nelson - very anti-French and a womaniser,
  • Duke of Wellington - vociferous womaniser who treated his wife abominably,
  • Cromwell - anti-monarchist and the architect of draconian Irish suppression,
  • George I - couldn't even speak English,
  • Richard I - Islamophobe,
  • Robin Hood and Hereward the Wake - terrorists,
  • Countless bishops - profited from the slave trade and owned plantations.
The list is endless.

While you'd expect university students to be a bit on the clever side of the intelligence Poisson curve, this is shows just how much they are lacking in essential wisdom and plain common sense. I'd love to delve into these students' antecedents and see how many of their grandparents or great-grandparents were racist, homophobic or sexist. I'd wager just about every one of them would tick all three boxes.

Heard something on the news yesterday about indiscriminate Palestinian attacks on Israelis. The Israelis blamed it on incitement by Palestinian leaders; Palestinians blamed it on continually frustrated peace efforts on their part. I guess they mean such peace efforts as Hamas demanding the complete elimination of Israel and sending the occasional hail of home-made missiles into Israeli territory, the latter of which is the usual precursor to kerfuffles between Palestinians and Israelis.

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