Monday, 1 June 2009

Monday 01/06/09

Back to work after a week off. With the temporary relief from stress the immune system crashed, causing me to have an outbreak of warts and a sty last week. Thank God the stress levels will increase again this week and kick-start the immune system into action again. On top of that I’m suffering badly from hay fever; living in a field doesn’t exactly help.

All last week I arose from my bed at exactly the same time as I arise when working. It’s not so much that I’m programmed to get up early (although I am), but that the cacophony from the bloody birds won’t let me sleep beyond daybreak. Added to the noise of birdsong, some bloody great bird with feet like Gollum insists on ritually flolloping across the roof of the caravan at 5am every morning.

Strangely enough, while perusing the news this morning I discovered that a radio channel that broadcasts nothing but birdsong is to close. Can’t say I’m surprised.

Am I alone in having thought the frizzy haired gnome in Diversity, the winners of the Britain’s Got Talent show, was a girl?

The French have not invited the Queen to D-Day celebrations in France later this week. I wonder if it’s anything to do with her German background, or just because the French are….. well…. French, and have all the baggage that goes with that unfortunate affliction.

Palace insiders say that Prince Philip is not going to attend the Queen’s garden party just in case he embarrasses her. The popular royal racist had received an invitation from the BNP, but fears his presence might offend Indian electricians who are working on the main sound stage for the popular summer rock festival in the Queen’s back yard.

Boris “Bonkers” Johnson has come up with a jocular jape that shows he’s left all semblance of rationality behind in search for everlasting fame. He’s planning to scatter 31 pianos in and around London in the forlorn hope that some Chas & Dave cockney types will spontaneously burst into song in the street and have a knees-up mother Brown before said pianos are vandalised by Banksy or street dance troupe, Diversity.

MPs are going to have to sign up to a code of conduct, says Prime Minister Obi-Wan Brown. It is rumoured that they will have to pledge to not nick anything that’s nailed down – the rest being fair game.

I’ll leave you today with photos of the common outside The Folly and the Caravans’ walled garden; a haven of tranquility – except for the bloody birds.


  1. Is that really your walled garden? It's nice. I wouldn't mind one like that myself but Im too lazy to do it.
    Boris isn't that bonkers is he? I dont get to follow the UK news much these days. I thought he was a welcome change to Red Ken.

  2. Dave: It's not our garden, but the Caravans' - Hay's parents. We're building in the field next to their place.

    As for Boris - can you see 31 pianos remaining in pristine condition in London? They must have a 24 hour armed guard, surely?

  3. Obi Wan Brown *giggle* Oh and the frizzy haired gnome, I totally had a double take to make sure it wasn't a girl.