Wednesday, 10 June 2009

Wednesday 10/06/09

Democracy under threat as Nazi pelted with eggs. Nick Griffin, the new British National Party MEP, was pelted with eggs by cagoule-clad storm troopers from Unite Against Fascism, a radical non-violent think tank that promotes selective free speech and violence against anyone who disagrees with them.

The Metropolitan Police enter 2012 Olympics. The Met has entered a team for the 2012 Olympic waterboarding event, hoping to beat the current world champions, the Americans. The team captain is the politically incorrect chauvinist bigot and Daily Mail pin-up, DCI Gene Hunt.

New test for Alzheimer’s. Researchers have developed a new test which can detect Alzheimer’s in 93% of sufferers at an early stage. However, it still retains the question “who is the Prime Minister”. When given to Labour MPs in a controlled test, 100% of them were shown to be suffering from Alzheimer’s on the basis of that question alone.

In another shock study it was shown that people who don’t want to use the internet don’t want to use the internet. A government spokesperson said that not being internet literate was not an option as all government services would shortly be moved on-line and not having an internet connection would create a huge underclass of people not able to claim benefits. It is thought that the move to put all government services on-line is part of the government’s strategy to eliminate benefits all together.

Finally got a call from the insurance company yesterday and after some haggling they’ve agreed to give me £900 for my old car and I can buy it back from them for £100. On the assumption that I can get the door replaced for £200, I’m £600 in profit – more than enough to pay this year’s insurance, road tax and a couple of new tyres.

I’ll leave you with a couple of questions:

Will flares ever make a comeback?

Is it an immutable law of physics that the fanciest mobile phones always have the worst signal reception?


  1. Holy crap, you mean flares went OUT of style???

    It is thought that the move to put all government services on-line is part of the government’s strategy to eliminate brain-dead worker syndrome. The hope is that their access to porn (because what else would they seek out on the net) will enliven them a little. For a while. We hope.

    (and we also hope they supply their workers with those disposable hand wipe things. Ewww)

  2. Flares did make a comeback with the young folk, a few years ago, circa early 2000's - did you miss it?

  3. Braja: Hay bought me a par if "boot-cut" trousers, but they look to me more like loons, never mind about frares.

    PG: Must have. I was probably too busy wearing hipsters.

  4. Chairman, is there a difference between Loons and Flares?
    My early seventees attire was loons, cheese cloth shirt, platforms or cowboy boots and the mandatory greycoat or afgan (complete with badges), a packet of ten number 6 in the pocket and ten bob for beer money, groovy days man!

  5. Cots: Loons were really flared flares - more like bell bottoms. I made do with a duffle coat, being of the nautical persuasion.

  6. As long as leggings don't come back into fashion again....

  7. Carlolina: Hay wears leggings all the time. The skinny ones made from jersey material. Mind you, she's 6 feet tall and slim.

  8. Bill, I live in America. Lionel Blairs never went out of fashion here. Neither did the mullet.

    As for Nick Griffin, the people who pelted him should take more than just a shallow look at why he got elected. The rise in popularity is a direct result of the lack of action taken against other extremist groups such as the Brotherhood of Islam and any radical mullah in north London who wants to slam the UK and order young muslims to rise up against the govt - all while receiving UK welfare. Address those issues and the BNP and NF will disappear into obscurity.

  9. I have flares and skinnys. But I'm so confused that I just pull on a pair of long boots now to cover any gaffes.

  10. Dave: I don't think it has anythign to do with relaity, merely media hype and an electorate that's thick as pig shit anda twice as smelly.

    Scarlet: Do they cover the varicous veins?

  11. Ah, Cotswoldgent must have been the misspent youth that I hung around with whilst wearing long cheesecloth skirts. Flares and bell-bottoms however are not the same thing at all.
    Silly prats who don't understand that it's better to have fascist/racist groups out in the open where you can see them......
    Is it because I don't follow British news all that closely that I missed the waterboarding event reference? And don't say it's because I didn't click on the link because I did and it's all "allegedly" and "can't comment on the exact nature" so I'm none the wiser.

  12. Kapgaf: I don't know why I bother with the links; people rarely click on them to verify my unquestionable truths.