Thursday, 10 December 2009

It's The News Headlines - Kind Of


I’ve thought of a new game. Interpreting the BBC website news headlines.

Saw a headline yesterday that had me worried - Children's boss axed after death. I thought chopping someone up after they are dead a tad barbaric and a definite backward move in execution techniques. As it transpires, the headline was a bit mangled and the story had nothing to do with hanging, drawing and quartering.

Here’s another - Priory ruins get lottery makeover. Apparently it’s nothing to do with high-profile celebs in rehab at the Priory Clinic getting botox; nor is Troops march through city centre anything to do with the BNP “Gettin' Jiggy wit’ It” down in Bradford and sending in the black-shirts.

Mother murdered over family home has nothing to do with an air-rage incident on an EasyJet flight over Luton and Pregnancy parking bays discussed does not involve a plan by an NHS hospital to deliver babies in the car park.


Scots curlers slip to Norway loss is not a story about an international hairdressing competition and S Korea to build homes in Ghana has nothing to do with plans for the world’s longest commute to work.

India to 'fence' naval harbours is not a story about India planning to sell stolen harbours and New drug threat to Asian vultures has nothing whatsoever to do with Asian bankers finding new recreational drugs.

Nine children's services 'poor' – what? Only nine children are providing services? Get the buggers up the chimneys! School cash worth two GCSEs – so you can now bribe your school to award GCSEs in return for a bung?

3 comments:

  1. I am sure I have already told you my favourite dating back to when the Antarctic explorer, Sir Vivian Fuchs, embarked on a lecture tour of America and the Times had the headline "Fuchs Off To America".

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  2. Alan: A bit like the old joke about the Dutch WWII airforce pilot. Fokker and Messerschmit.

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