Tiger Tiger Burning Bright

The tabloids are filled with lurid allegations about Tiger Woods’ personal life from some self-seeking, renta-gob tart. Why oh why do tabloids revel in destroying people’s lives just to make a bit of dosh and put cash into the hands of repulsive kiss and tell gob-shites? You could say that if the allegations are true then Tiger is the architect of his own downfall, but assistance from the gutter-press is merely the worst example of schadenfreude. It’s not as if he courts exposure, unlike some of those hideous celebs who have no talent whatsoever and thrive on nothing more tangible than notoriety. The media and the public don’t own Tiger Woods. There, but for the grace of God, go many.

I was watching something on TV last night about UK bank charges, which has caused a bit pof a furore here following the bail-out of the banks earlier in the year. Interviewees were moaning about the fact that they have to pay increased fees when they go overdrawn. The solution is simply – DON’T BLOODY WELL GO OVERDRAWN. I can do it, so why do others find it so damned difficult? It’s not as if these people who are moaning look as if they’re on the bread-line.

Talking of bailed-out banks - the directors of Royal Bank of Scotland are threatening to resign if the government stops them paying bonuses of £1.5bn to staff in its investment arm. If I were the government I’d most certainly call their collective bluff. Making money in the City is not exactly something that takes great intelligence or skill – it involved nothing more complex than having the balls to gamble at incredible odds with other people’s money in the hope of getting a fabulous short-term reward, i.e. what got us into this global pickle in the first place. I could do that with no bonus. One sure-fire way of combating CO2 emissions is to curb all the hot air and righteous indignation emanating from bank board rooms.

Ever seen the Carol Vorderman porn video?