Tuesday, 15 December 2009

A Tuesday Mish-Mash Too

Remember Dr Stephen Venner, the Army bish who I reported on in yesterday’s post. Seems he’s had second thoughts and has apologised for his ill-advised pronouncement that the Taleban could be admired for their faith. He went on to say, "It was one small phrase in quite a long interview, and a phrase that simply said you cannot describe everybody under one heading as Taliban as being equally black, equally evil." Good God – that man has only just apologised for upsetting his entire flock while simultaneously vilifying every member of the black community by calling them evil! Are there no bounds to this man’s ability to shoot himself in the foot?

He added that soldiers had privately told him that they didn’t have enough equipment. Sadly, I don’t think there’s been an army in the history of armed conflict that’s been fully satisfied with the quality or amount of equipment they had available – it kind of goes hand-in-hand with budgeting for war on finite resources.

Someone has twatted that smug, slimy bastard Berlusconi, removed a couple of teeth from his botoxed face and rearranged the symmetry of his nose. Not before time too - give the perpetrator a medal! As for the brainless idiots who admire Berlusconi and voted for him…..

I’ve always thought the Italians strange coves. Remember Aldo Moro, the Italian ex PM who was kidnapped and then topped? He was killed by the Red Brigade, specifically by a chap called Mario Moretti, who for the crime of pumping 11 bullets into Moro’s chest received six life sentences. 15 years later he was released on parole and now works as an IT manager. For heaven’s sake – we hang, draw and quarter someone for littering the pavement or having the temerity to throw an egg at a politician. The Italians free their butchers and allow them to play with computers.

I have to say that there’s some speculation that Moretti was actually a government agent who had infiltrated the Red Brigade and had no choice in his action. The fact he was out within 15 years would seem to support the hypothesis.

Talking of mindless attacks, a 16 year-old kid has been convicted of attempting to cause grievous bodily harm after pouring a bottle of bleach over a woman in a restaurant. By all accounts she was having a meal with her kids and husband at the time. What I can’t understand is why her husband isn’t up for manslaughter of the 16 year-old.

A Tesco store has withdrawn a Christmas card that makes fun of ginger haired people following a complaint from a woman who has three ginger nuts as kids. The complainant said that the store would have been closed down had they sold cards that make fun of fat people. I don’t think so – she’s obviously not scanned the average birthday card collection in card shops. I’d be more worried about the kids having a totally humourless mother.

A friend told me of an innovative way of reducing your carbon footprint over Christmas. Send one Christmas card to the first person on your Christmas card list along with the list itself. The appended list should contain instructions to tick off their name and forward it to the next person on the list.

It struck me last night that my mother, who has dementia, is 87. If I take after her then I’m destined to live a long life, but not know it.

Got to start thinking about my Christmas Special post. It’ll be exactly the same as my normal posts, but closer to Christmas.


  1. I also read the article about the overly sensitive red head mother. Apparently she was disgusted by that 'santa loves all kids, even ginger ones' card. All her freinds were disgusted too. I can think of more important things to be disgusted about.

  2. Gawd, you can't laugh at anything these days!
    All thats left now to take the mickey out of are Welsh people and slapheads (don't worry, my husband is both!)

    I hope your mum is okay xxx

  3. I saw the Ginger Complainer and her three kids interviewed on local news last night. I felt sorry for the poor kids being put through such an ordeal in order for their mother to get her three minutes of fame(?). From the look of her she would have had similar grounds for complaint if the card had been aimed at fat people.

  4. Tut tut - such discrimination from my loyal readers.

  5. I feel as though I should have something to say about Berlusconi and/or Mario Moretti, but even after 7 years, Italian politics and the Italian legal system are subjects that are still totally impenetrable to me!

  6. Here you go Chairman, you obviously don't appreciate the concerns of that poor mother!


  7. George: That's headlining on tomorrow's blog entry!

  8. Only a ginger can call another ginger, ginger.

    (courtesy of Tim Minchin, except he sings it and only tells you what the letters are; causing everyone to think of the other combination of an i a couple of g's an e, an n and an r) a funny man.