Friday, 11 December 2009

That's Cooked Your Goose


Discovered this week that turkey for Christmas only came to be traditional during the ‘60s with a massive advertising campaign by American exporters and Mr ‘Booful’ Bernard Matthews. Prior to the 60s goose was the traditional fare. When you think about it, there’s not a single reference to a Christmas turkey in Dickens. It’s a bit like the red Santa, for which can again thank the Americans, as he was an invention of Coca Cola.

The problem with a goose is that it feeds fewer people and the breast is fairly slender. I had goose only once in my life, and delicious it was too (my grammar is starting to sounding like that of Yoda, it is).

Talking of cooking; saw an item on the news last night about a 40 odd stone guy who died of a heart attack. With his coffin he was over 50 stone, which was way in excess of the weight the crematorium could handle. Even the coffin was 40 inches too wide for the furdace doors. The family are apparently traumatised at finding out that the cremation couldn’t go ahead. You’d think someone in the family would have twigged. I can imagine the conversation with the family. “I’m sorry, but we’ve had to move the cremation to the local blast furnace – unless of course you’re willing to hold the cremation in two sessions.”

Apparently the cremation finally went ahead after the crem brought in some additional equipment. Just hope it wasn’t a chainsaw.

The family of this chap want crematoria to start catering for ‘larger people’. Can’t see them rebuilding for the sake of the couple of dozen humungous people they get through their books (or fires) every century or so. I certainly would not wish to pay several thousand more for a cremation because the crematorium had to finance cavernous furnaces.

Had to laugh last night when an advert came on for the Iceland frozen food shops. She commented that it is perceived as the chav M&S.

Badger’s End is starting to look more like the beginnings of a house. This was what the new skating rink looked like last week:


And this is what it looked like yesterday afternoon:



13 comments:

  1. I seem to remember from my youth that a chicken was often the traditional bird for Christmas, as back in those days chickens were not as widely available or anywhere near as cheap. We used to order one from the milkman months in advance. Your house seems to be coming on apace. Is the fact that it is cross-shaped a religious statement?

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  2. Given the "obesity epidemic" perhaps there is a great business opportunity for a Crematorium specialising in people who are "larger than life" (or is that "larger than death"?)
    Love the pics of Badger's End - I'm with Alan: which end will the steeple be? :o)

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  3. Feed the big ones to the starving polar bears, that would be the public spirited thing to do, hum, tastes like... :)

    I think you should consider combining the pond with the house, perhaps put some ornamental carp in there, certainly a talking point at dinner parties!? ..

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  4. All: The far wing is the kitchen, the near one a 2nd bedroom and the mid section is the cavernous living room. Thinking of turning it into a crematorium.

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  5. Being a veggie I can't really comment on Turkey versus Goose but I have heard Bernard Matthews is butiful.
    That poor man, no dignity even in death.
    What a shame you have had to loose your swimming pool in favour of that brick stuff.

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  6. Must you always blame the Americans... ;)

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  7. You've reminded me that I need to order my turkey. I'm not a big fan of goose, but then I am an American . . . although quite normal-sized.

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  8. Food for thought! If the favoured(?) red Santa that my grandchildren love is a Coca Cola invention, can I save a fortune this year and just buy them a bottle? I won't be too much of a Scrooge - I'll make it a 2 litre one. Not sure how it would be received though...

    Nice to see Badgers End coming on, but have to agree with others that it's a shame to loose the pool. Is there no way you could extend the height of the building to give you the status symbol of having your own indoor pool? At least then if you put the steeple on, you wouldn't have to worry about the font.

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  9. Gosh sweetie, you're really doing it aren't you. Only a real man builds his own house. I keep telling husband that.

    Please don't mention obese people at the moment - have just had two mince pies. xxx

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  10. People! Puhlease! 'Lose' (with one o) is to lose something, as in misplacing it. Loose is something that flaps around, like loose women.

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  11. What can I say, I can't spell. I am sure you think loose is more appropriate anyway. Thanks Spiv for not leaving me loose and alone with bad spelling.

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  12. House looks promising ... you're a braver man than I!

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  13. It's really exiting when the house first shows above the ground. Then you can stand in the rooms and say..this kitchen is way too small..this room will never be big enough! It all looks so tiny when surrounded by sky!

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