Wednesday, 23 December 2009

Jordan's Tech Support For Legal Fruit & Veg


Overheard in the Caravan:

Chairman (speaking to Vodafone Support): “Every time I use my Nokia mobile as a modem from my PC and try to get on the Interweb, I get the message SUBSCRIBE TO PACKET DATA FIRST.”

Vodafone Tech Support Person: “Reconfigure your settings to such and such.”

Chairman: “Are you sure? I suspect it’s a network setting, hence the SUBSCRIBE TO PACKET DATA FIRST message.”

Vodafone Tech Support Person: “Yes, definitely.”

Later…..

Chairman (speaking to Vodafone Support): “Every time I use my Nokia mobile as a modem from my PC and try to get on the Interweb, I get the message SUBSCRIBE TO PACKET DATA FIRST. The previous guy told me to change my settings and it hasn’t worked. I think it’s a network setting.”

Vodafone Tech Support Person: “Reconfigure your settings to such and such.”

Chairman: “Are you sure? I’m certain it’s a network setting. The message is a bit of a give-away.”

Vodafone Tech Support Person: “Yes, definitely.”

Later still….

Chairman (speaking to Vodafone Support): “Every time I use my Nokia mobile as a modem from my PC and try to get on the Interweb, I get the message SUBSCRIBE TO PACKET DATA FIRST. The previous two cretins in Vodafone’s employ who I spoke to told me to change my configuration settings and it hasn’t worked – not that I expected it to. They probably expect pay rises this year. I really, really think it’s a network setting.”

Vodafone Tech Support Person: “Yes, it’s definitely a network setting. Just let me subscribe you to packet data. There - try again in 5 minutes.”

Chairman: “You seem to be the only bugger there who knows what he’s talking about.”

Vodafone Tech Support Person: “Thank you.”

Chairman: “Is it too much to hope that this conversation is being recorded for training purposes?”

Every conceivable bugger I’ve every bought anything from on-line and every recruitment site that has my details is bombarding my mailbox with unwanted Christmas greetings. I wouldn’t mind if they were sincere, but my e-mail address is just one among hundreds of thousands and it pisses me off more than that Jordan (the model, not the country) phoning me every week and pestering me for a deep and meaningful relationship and asking me to come round for some bush tucker (at least that’s what I thought she said).

There’s a report in the Daily Mail (where else) that a judge has said wife-beaters should be publicly pelted with rotten fruit and vegetables. What a preposterous and ridiculous idea. You tell me exactly where, in these days of sell-by dates and public health concerns, one is meant to purchase rotten fruit and veg?

We cooked some spuds in the new wood burner last night – delicious. Will have to get a range for the house when it’s finished.


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