Saturday, 21 May 2011

eCrap Judgement Day for Amazonians

Judgement Day?

What with today being Judgement Day, I guess we need a quick headcount to check whether any of us have been ‘raptured’ up to heaven (although I hear the top salesmen from Munich Re have already been there).

1, 2, 3 – yes, all my readers are here. Hang on, where’s Alan Burnett? Alan – are you still shopping?

I’ll be back, as they say.


I’m getting a tad pissed off with anencephalic idiots on eBay selling stuff under false pretences.

Just the other day I bought what was advertised as a tan leather trolley bag, only to discover on delivery that it is very obviously a tan plastic trolley bag, with the only leather on the bloody thing being the straps.

While advertised as ‘mint’, it’s actually fit for nothing but Freecycle or the bin. Doubtless it will take me several weeks to obtain the return address and I’ll have to raise yet another eBay dispute.

The fact I lost the original auction, but was offered the item as 2nd highest bidder, should have alerted me to some underhanded and iniquitous skulduggery.

You may well say: “When will he learn,” but given eBay’s excellent dispute policy, these bastard scammers are soon brought to book. eBay couldn’t have it any other way, else confidence in the system would be devastated. It is such a hideously tedious drag though.

Amazonian Telephone Engineers

Apparently there’s an Amazonian tribe, the Amondawa, that has no concept of time.

Chairman Bill suspects that British Telecom and a motley assortment of washing machine purveyors recruit their repair engineers exclusively from the very members of this very tribe.


  1. Once again Mr Chairman Bill you put a smile on my face whie I wait for my lift to the next world... As I found out I'm a bad person (re; my blog) I won't be going up so we might not meet up in the afterlife. It's been nice knowing you.

  2. Still waiting... nothing yet, you don't think the Amondawa sect has infiltrated the Christian sect do you???

  3. I've never bought anything on e.bay. I go to yard sales on Saturdays where my weekly budget is $8. It's amazing what $8 will get you.

  4. Just to let you know that none of those predicted raptures happened down here in NZ. Well, actually my neighbour was raptured but he seems to be ok now he's wearing that truss.