Sunday, 29 May 2011

Evolution of Shiny Kitty Thumbs

New Shiny Things

The Chairman took possession of a new shiny thing yesterday, so all is now harmony in the world of consumerism.

It’s called an HTC something or other and is meant to be a mobile phone. The thing is, it does a helluva lot more than just make phone calls – but I fear the majority of them are simply time wasters and not really that useful.

I don’t really need a screen thingy to tell me it’s raining outside, especially when it’s wrong; it doesn’t take a monumental degree of effort to simply look out of the window to check on the weather.

Nor do I need to be told the date in such huge numerals that it makes the machine look like it belongs to a kindergarten inmate.

Now a really useful addition would be a docking station so I can play my music through a decent sound system – but I guess someone is going to tell me that I should have upgraded to an iPhone for that.

NHS Reforms

Talking of new shiny things, Dave Cameron wants to introduce competition into the NHS. Since when has competition improved customer service?

Yes, I fully agree that competition is the mother of invention - and innovation - but that’s purely in the realm of the product and not customer service. Just think utilities, broadband service providers, rail companies, banks, etc. They are a byword for indifference to customers.

[Just as an aside, Hay has spent the last week trying to put £96k into a Santander high interest account, but every time she effects an on-line transfer, Santander reject it. Santander seem not the least bit interested in assisting and keep blaming Nat West, so she cancelled the transfer completely and ditched Santander. Their loss!]

Competition necessitates cost reductions in order to feed the high cost of R&D and investor returns. The costs that are cut invariably affect customer facing activities, resulting in the worst customer service since Ryan Air.

Yes, monopolies are not renowned for customer service either, but that’s not because they can’t afford it – it’s due to poor management, which can be addressed with the right oversight.

In the case of Ryan Air you’re prepared to put up with the bad customer service, but when it comes to your health, I’m sure you’d prefer a proper hip replacement to a wooden leg.

Evolutionary Kitty

I was inspecting Kitty’s paws yesterday. As regular readers will know, she has polydactylism, or an extra digit. It’s not just simply an extra digit, it’s opposable and is actually a thumb.

In a creature that walks on all fours an opposable thumb isn’t that much use, but in an animal that has learned to walk upright it’s a veritable competitive advantage, as it means tea can be drunk from a mug – and tea drinking is the true mark of civilisation.

Polydactylism is caused by a genetic mutation, providing perfect evidence of evolution through mutation and environmental selection with consequent genetic proliferation through competitive advantage.

How the hell anyone can still believe in the myth of Adam and Eve and Creation simply beggars belief. It’s somewhat akin to the irrational belief that competition will result in better customer service in the NHS.


  1. Have you tried giving the HTC to Kitty?

    btw, I have an HTC. Good choice, but you really should have upgraded to an iPhone if you wanted to play your music.

  2. Does this HTC make tea though?

  3. I'm waiting for the mutation that produces all thumbs, imagine Texting then! a population of 5 thumb smart phone users would be all conquering!

  4. A thought on Hay's monetary problems; we find that transferring £10000 at a time works usually. A slow process but may be down to money laundering legislation.

    Cheers Richard