Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Silly Season


UK to Declare War on Denmark

The mind-altering substance, Marmite, has been banned in Denmark, possibly leading to a declaration of war by the UK.

Denmark has taken this step after watching the effect of Marmite on the UK’s population – binge drinking, irrational strikes, celebrity culture, excruciatingly banal TV, women attending hospital A&E departments for broken nails, etc.


PM’s Big ‘Society Tzar’ Liquidated

David Cameron’s rather large Society Tzar, Lord Wei, has been taken to a small house in the country and shot by the forces of the Bolshevik secret police, along with his family and a small circle of loyal servants.

Being ‘big’ in society is obviously not politically correct at present, what will all the stuff about obesity. As for being a Tzar, well, we all know what ultimately happens to Tzars – especially if they want to be paid.


2 comments:

  1. I tried Marmite once, didn't inhale though.

    Seriously though, did anyone ever understand what "big society" actually meant?

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  2. It appears that the Danish Authorities are suggesting the British newspaper reports are somewhat misleading. They have issued the following statement :
    Hverken smørepålægget Marmite eller Vegemite, som især er kendt i England og Australien, er blevet forbudt af Fødevarestyrelsen, sådan som flere engelske medier har skrevet på det seneste.
    Generelt gælder det, at fødevarer der er tilsat vitaminer, mineraler eller andre stoffer ikke må sælges i Danmark med mindre de har de nødvendige godkendelser fra myndighederne.
    Ifølge de danske regler skal fødevarer, der er tilsat vitaminer, mineraler og andre stoffer være godkendt af Fødevarestyrelsen før de kan markedsføres i Danmark. Fødevarestyrelsen har ikke modtaget ansøgninger om at sælge Marmite og lignende produkter på det danske marked.
    En række berigede fødevarer sælges allerede i dag i Danmark med myndighedernes godkendelse.

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