Friday, 27 March 2015

Richard III Terrorist Hats

Overheard while talking about Richard III:

Chairman: "So Richard III had numerous motives to eliminate the young princes, but there's no hard evidence they were actually killed - no smoking gun."

Hay: "So they could still be alive....., well, not actually alive...."

We were having a discussion about hats and I reached the following conclusion:

  1. A hat, as we understand it, is a bit useless as it covers nothing but the top of a man's head, which is generally well protected by hair (unless follically challenged).
  2. The bits that actually get cold are the ears, so a hat without earflaps is a bit useless.
  3. The nose also gets cold, so said hat should have something to protect the nose.
  4. Ergo, the only really effective hat is an IRA-style balaclava.
This prompted us to consider a Terrorist range of clothing that could be sold on eBay:
  • Obviously the IRA balaclava,
  • A bomb vest in a chic midnight black,
  • A Che Guevara beret with a fetching IRA logo,
  • One of those hideous, black, leather jackets favoured by eastern Europeans and international terrorists,
  • Large black sunglasses with your favourite terrorist organisation logo.
The Palestinian chequered tea towel favoured by Yasser Arafat became an iconic and ubiquitous item of clothing for the discerning, left-wing radical, so there's no reason why our new range wouldn't follow suit.


  1. However the Che Guevara beret covers only one ear... One could use it alternatively - on the left at even days...

    1. Good point, but as Che was socialist, it could only cover the left ear. A right wing terrorist beret would need to be added.