Monday, 16 May 2016

The Multiverse of Weddings


Chairman: "What is the exact definition of a sociopath?"

Hay: "Well, someone who doesn't like people or social occasions to the extent it can interfere with their life."

Chairman: "So you mean just like us - normal?"

Hay: "Yup!"

We're homing in on the wedding outfits. Hay  is going for an ASOS wedding dress for £48 - and very nice it is too. I suggested a Carmen Miranda style headpiece comprising bananas, oranges, a pineapple and some other assorted fruit. Hay thought just a single, whole pineapple fascinator would suffice, or else a few tins of fruit salad.

I shall be sporting an off-white linen suit in the manner of Sir Les Patterson. That will require sleeping in it the night before, no tie, a white shirt with grubby collar and a few food stains down the front - not a difficult look for me to achieve, believe me. I was toying with the idea of a badger onesie, but that may be a touch too casual.

Something to think about: somewhere in the quantum multiverse, there already exists a world with Boris as PM and Farage as his enforcer....  It makes you shudder. As for Boris comparing the EU to Hitler, I think he's gone completely off his trolley now and is clutching at straws.His comparison lacks some coherence, as the EU is not gassing minorities, conducting blitzkrieg warfare, attempting to annexe western Russia nor sinking millions of tonnes of shipping in the Atlantic. I don't think his statement will help him, except maybe to get the BNP even further on his side.


  1. I presume your wedding footwear will be a pair of red crocs or some old wellies borrowed from an OAP :-) ?

    1. Well, I do have a pair of leather flipflops that we refer to as my evening or dancing flipflops.....

  2. An excellent choice of footwear they will fit in nicely with your crumpled white suit :-)