Saturday, 26 March 2016

Wobbly Italian Weaponised Mice

Went to an Italian restaurant yesterday for a coffee after doing the weekly shopping at Aldi in Thornbury. How many times have you been in a pub or restaurant with a wobbly table? I mean, it isn't difficult to go round your tables and check whether they're fit for purpose before opening the doors. Nothing annoys me more than a wobbly table, except perhaps execrable food, but then you won't be in the food business for long anyway.

I've always wondered how Italian restauranteurs maintain their staff's Italian accents? Say you came over from Italy in the 60s or 70s when Italian food was all the rage. You're about to retire and have handed the business to your children - who speak impeccable and regionally accented English because they were brought up here! All authenticity is blown out of the water! There must be a school somewhere that teaches the children of Italian immigrants how to speak in near-perfect Italian-accented English. Either that or they would have to take a back seat and get a revolving cadre of Italians over for a few years at a time to provide an air of authenticity. Once they're tainted by Brummie, Scouse or a west country accent they'd have to pack their bags.

Kitty brought in a mouse last night, but it got away and managed to hide behind the big cooker. The problem is that over the years we have accidentally dropped many a ladle, knife or spatula behind the cooker and it's too heavy to move to retrieve them. The mouse will doubtless by now be weaponised  with naked steel and Kitty had better watch out.

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