Tuesday, 22 September 2009

My Grandmother Sucked Eggs


Been in sales and marketing virtually all of my shore-based life, but I and my team (all of whom are on the verge of retirement and have been in sales for the last 30 years too) have to go to HQ in Basildon till Friday to be taught how to sell by a bunch of consultants who know bugger all about my market and had the nerve to conference call me for 2 hours last week in an effort to find out more about it. The words 'grandmother', 'teach' and 'eggs' come to mind.

In the words of Capt. Oates: "I am just going outside and may be some time."


8 comments:

  1. Good luck! Especially to the poor consultants who have to teach a group of grumpy old men everything they know already.

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  2. *Sniggers* at what Carolina said.
    Sx

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  3. Why the hell did grandmothers suck eggs, I could never work that out. Was it because they had no teeth? If so the phrase should not be used as it is both ageist and sexist.

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  4. Like Carolina, I feel very sorry for the consultants. Dying to hear all about it...

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  5. I felt an inner groan when I read this post. I have been thorugh that so many times over the past few decades. You have my sympathy, Mr. Chairman. You really do. But perhaps there is some fun to be had? Put yourself in the consultants shoes. Imagine you had to stand in front of a group of highly experienced people who have worked the front line for decades and have more experience than you. If it were me, I'd be quaking in my boots, waiting for the moment I uttered the wrong word and got eaten alive. I think, from your point of view, there is some fun to be had in Basildon!

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  6. In such circs, I try and find questions for the consultants that sound innocent but aren't. You spread them out over the allotted time and see whether or not you can get at least one of the consultants to boiling point.

    Is one's word one's Bond in Basildon?

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  7. Caroline: You said it!

    Alan: GoM!

    Kapgaf: You have no idea how pertinent your last comment is, given my Boss's name.

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