Sunday, 25 April 2010

Benedict Condoms

Some loudmouth in the Foreign Office has blurted to the Sunday Telegraph newspaper the fact that a menial has made some jokes at the expense of the pope. Had the loudmouth not said anything, and had the Sunday Telegraph been a bit more responsible, no-one would have known and the pope would have been none-the-wiser. It makes me suspect the motives of the loudmouth. Obviously a disgruntled left-footer who wants to divert attention from the paedophilia scandal surrounding the papacy. Personally I think the jokes were quite funny.

If you have daft policies which offend most rational and morally minded people, then you have to learn to take some stick.

Here are some important questions:

How do they make chickens lay all year round?

What would you see if you were massless and could travel at the speed of light?


  1. Duncan : I read the comments on the Daily Telegraph story and the astonishing thing was how often the word "manners" was used by the various Bishops and Bigwigs. Haven't heard talk of manners for years. If I had better manners I wouldn't point out that chickens don't lay round eggs at any time of the year, at least not where I come from. Maybe things are different down south. Not been to the Crooked House but will work out ways of getting there using my free bus pass.
    Regards, Neville

  2. Roger: Please report back when you've been. Depending on your dispatches, I may be tempted to pay a visit.

  3. Oh now you've got me thinking - not about the Pope (but good point, well made, on the motives of the loudmouth) but about how chickens are made to lay eggs all year round.
    Simple solution for all of those indoor raised hens - keep them in the illusion that it's summer. But what about the constant supply of free-range, outdoor reared, organic, muesli wearing hens? The mind boggles. Chicken-shaped sauna suits, perhaps?

  4. Kabbalah: Well done - yes, the crucial factor is between 12 and 14 hours of light a day. That tells me that it's near impossible to get free range eggs all year round, unless you have massive illuminated barns in which to keep them and give them the room they need to be free range.

  5. Chairman: Maybe they have little LED glasses? Or maybe not.
    Oh, and the last time I was massless and travelled at the speed of light, I went to Sainsburys. But without hands I couldn't pick up a damned thing. Complete waste of time.

  6. Kabbalah: One suspects the pope is never massless.

  7. I new a guy who was massless once, he was crap at everything, a total lightweight.