Monday, 19 April 2010

Britian Starves

Critical supplies of mange touts, sugar-snap peas and cut lilies are running dangerously low due to the air traffic situation and it is feared the middle classes may starve as a consequence.

Airlines are calling for the skies to be declared safe, which shows that business cannot be entrusted with our safety or be relied upon to advise the Conservative party as to what it best for Britain.

On a serious note, it’s worrying when global capitalism is so fragile that a couple of weeks of no air transport can result in Kenya potentially going bust due to it relying so heavily on air transport for its exports – exports which are simply fripperies in the importing countries.


  1. I didn't even stop to wonder why there were no sugar snap peas. I have no idea what else to eat, as my back-up was mangetout.
    Very scary for Kenya - but I will bet the airlines aren't even thinking about that one.

  2. Will we run out of bananas? I was pondering this last night, as it goes.

  3. Bugger! Was going to have mange tout for supper tonight! What the hell do i do now?!

  4. Kabbalah: What about your cut lilies?

    Scarlet: No worries - they come on the banana boat.

    Jenny: Starve!

  5. With Easter behind us there is no danger in missing a few fresh cut lilies. Unless of course there is a dramatic increase in funerals as folks succomb to the volcanic ash that can shred a heavy metal jet engine.

    Across the pond, we are in little danger as fresh veggies are not on the menu of our ubiquitous fast food chains. Hey, what's a sugar snap pea among friends?


  6. Chairman: I only eat cut lilies in September - that's when they taste the best...