When in Rome, Fiddle

Overheard in Lidl.

Hay: “I need some baked rolls.”

Chairman: “Baked voles?”

Hay: “I really worry about your hearing.”

Chairman: “My gearing?”

Arch Hierophant of Cadbury, Ron Atkinson, seems poised to benefit from the RC kiddie fiddling scandal. He’s reported as saying that the Irish church has lost all street cred. He obviously senses a mass influx of Catholics to the C of E, which is poetic justice when you consider how the Pope was trying to steal his congregation a few months ago.

The RC hierarchy is trying to deflect criticism of the Pope by likening it to anti-Semitism – how low can these people get? I think a lot of the Catholic priesthood is going to be burning in hell for a long time over this.

‘When in Rome, do as the Romans do’ is taking on a whole new meaning.

When all this news broke, I thought it was something to do with PayPal.

A lack of female directors in the City of London may have worsened the crisis in the financial sector, a Commons Treasury Committee report has said. The MPs said the lack of diversity in the boardroom "may have...made effective challenge and scrutiny of executive decisions less effective".

"We are not saying that had women been in charge the crisis wouldn't have happened, but we are highlighting the fact that women are poorly represented in the financial sector, particularly at board level," said the Committee's chairman, John McFall.

So if they’re not saying what they are saying, then what exactly are they saying, and what is the relevance of their point to what they are saying or not saying?

It’s like saying that the low number of woodpeckers in the countryside may have contributed to the severity of the financial crisis, and then saying that you’re not saying that had the number of woodpeckers been greater then the crisis would not have happened – merely that you’re pointing out the low number of woodpeckers.