Thursday, 29 April 2010

Children on the Menu?

Yesterday’s comment on politicians not being able to afford to say what they think was quite prescient.

This song is for Gordon Brown following his gaffe of yesterday:

Who first came up with the children’s menu? Time was when a children’s menu was merely the same as what the grown-ups ate, but in smaller portions – if you were lucky.

I was reading a review of The Munro – a gastro pub which, despite being located in a somewhat run-down area of Liverpool, looks rather nice and an ideal venue for taking some of my clients for lunch (their office is over the road).

I noticed someone complaining because there was no children’s menu – oh, how unfortunate. For a start, please don’t take children to a restaurant where grown-ups eat – they won’t appreciate unruly, wild animals running all over the place, causing mayhem or screaming at the top of their voices that there are no pizzas or Turkey Twzzlers.

If you do take your progeny and I’m there, I shall scowl at you, waiting to pounce on you at the first sign of unruliness and demand you take Algernon and Portia out of the establishment post haste; children belong in children’s establishments – like MacDonald’s, TGI Friday’s or preferably your home, not places where human beings eat.

No – if you have children, then keep them to yourself and don’t inflict them on others who are looking for a pleasant dining experience.


  1. Nothing quite like paying £40 for a babysitter only to find a fractious 2 year old at the next table with a full nappy.

    There should be laws allowing proportional retaliation..