Wednesday, 21 April 2010

Immodest Volcanoes & Plane Elections


Immodest women cause earthquakes claims Iranian religious nutter.

An Iranian cleric has claimed that earthquakes in Iran are caused by women showing their hair and wearing tight clothes. Just goes to show that there is such a thing as reverse evolution.

If earthquakes are caused by immodest women, then parts of Britain should be quivering like a jelly – especially on Friday and Saturday nights. Perhaps we should get some scientists on ‘back-to-work’ schemes to conduct a controlled experiment in Bristol city centre.

I wonder if there’s any variant of immodesty that guarantees a warm summer or that Charlie Boy will win the 4:30 at Kempton Park at 33 to 1.

My God! Perhaps the eruption of that unpronounceable Icelandic volcano was caused by exposed muffin-tops brought on by the warmer weather!

Want to see where planes are flying at the moment? Then look here. It shows the tracks of all aircraft over Europe (give it a few moments to locate the aircraft).

This site is a similar one for ships. Click on an area to zoom in and see the details of the vessels around the various ports.

Here’s a good link which will tell you how you should vote in the forthcoming election. It’s based on your opinions and you might be surprised and find that you generally vote on the basis of prejudice and not policy.


8 comments:

  1. Well I don't suppose it's much of a surprise, apart from agreeing with 27% of the BNP, but my results were:-

    LibDem(70%), then Green(62%) followed by Labour (55%), UKIP(44%), Tory (41%), BNP (27%)

    Richard x x x

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  2. Richard: The BNP do have a few sensible policies, so you are excused. I must admit I didn't even include them in my policy analysis.

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  3. Incredible - amazingly interesting sites. Thanks Skipper.
    Rather shockingly (my family is a pallette of colours) I staunch BNP !!!!!

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  4. I wonder what depths of depravity those Icelanders have sunk to then :)

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  5. Hmm.. 55% UKIP, 54% BNP. Not sure what my Dad (UKIP member) would think: Yay! for UKIP coming out on top, but only 55%? I am a political ostrich, it has to be said.
    Re: the earthquakes, maybe the cleric hadn't heard about Gattux being in the sign of the Tongs.

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  6. I understand that if 30 billion Euro are left in a plain marked bag on the doorsteps of the Icelandic embassy in London they will turn off the volcano. Cheers!

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  7. Great links : they've been added to my collection. But all of a sudden I am a Green (74%) rather than Labour (72%)

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  8. Alan: I had the same result, although apparently I was more Tory than Labour, which came as a total surprise. Prejudice rules!

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