Thursday, 21 April 2011

NHS Treatment More Desirable Than a Morgan Car


Lifestyle guru, Chairman Bill, has suggested that the National Health Service should capitalise on the increasing waiting list for treatment by portraying the wait as a desirable lifestyle statement.

This is precisely the strategy used by Morgan Motors, where customers face waiting lists of 1 to 2 years for the delivery of a car without batting an eyelid. In fact, potential Morgan purchasers have to fork out a £1,000 deposit simply to go on the waiting list.

Chairman Bill thinks that slapping a £500 refundable deposit on a hip replacement and stretching the waiting time to 5 years will make the treatment the must-have accessory for 2011 (or rather 2016) and eliminate complaints about waiting lists.


Happy Birthday, Mrs Queen!

You mean, she doesn't read Chairman Bill's blog?



13 comments:

  1. I always purchase my medical treatment second hand...
    The local Old Folks Home regularly has a garage sale of dental plates (upper and lower) and with a bit of mixing and matching it's possible to regain the smile of a youth.

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  2. Lucien: is there not an attendant risk of ending up with a lop-sided grin?

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  3. Make sure that you get a feature in FT Magazine with this idea, Mr Chairman. I'd also suggest getting Lily Allen and James Brown [the hair-stylist] on board to give it the cool factor.
    You'll be quids in.
    Sx

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  4. Scarlet: Yeeooowww! Gettup offa dat ting!

    Oh, you didn't mean that James Brown.

    FT Magazine? Do you perchance mean the ever popular Foot Traction Monthly?

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  5. I'm actually a bit of a fan of the FT at the weekend. I was very surprised at how down to earth it is... I don't read the financial bit - obs - but the culture and weekend section is like, hot.
    It has really good pictures.
    Sx

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  6. Scarlet: You don't live at Yew Cottage in the village do you? They always have an FT at the weekend.

    I prefer perusing the Daily Mash and the odd bit of deeply perverted DIY.

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  7. PS - reading the FT would contaminate my self-opinionated distribes with fact, and I can't have that.

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  8. "happy birthday, Mrs Queen"??? - you looking for some kind of gong CB? ;)

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  9. SB: Just a little mention in dispatches, perhaps.

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  10. This might work.

    In the US the GOP [aka grand old party] can strip health care, education, pensions and rights to collective bargain at your work while we diddle about who might win Dancing With the Stars.

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  11. ..."you looking for some kind of gong CB?"

    From your photograph I already had you pegged as the Marquis of Blandford... am I in error?

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