Thursday 21 April 2011

NHS Treatment More Desirable Than a Morgan Car


Lifestyle guru, Chairman Bill, has suggested that the National Health Service should capitalise on the increasing waiting list for treatment by portraying the wait as a desirable lifestyle statement.

This is precisely the strategy used by Morgan Motors, where customers face waiting lists of 1 to 2 years for the delivery of a car without batting an eyelid. In fact, potential Morgan purchasers have to fork out a £1,000 deposit simply to go on the waiting list.

Chairman Bill thinks that slapping a £500 refundable deposit on a hip replacement and stretching the waiting time to 5 years will make the treatment the must-have accessory for 2011 (or rather 2016) and eliminate complaints about waiting lists.


Happy Birthday, Mrs Queen!

You mean, she doesn't read Chairman Bill's blog?



13 comments:

Modo said...

I always purchase my medical treatment second hand...
The local Old Folks Home regularly has a garage sale of dental plates (upper and lower) and with a bit of mixing and matching it's possible to regain the smile of a youth.

Chairman Bill said...

Lucien: is there not an attendant risk of ending up with a lop-sided grin?

Chairman Bill said...

...a bit like mine...

Ms Scarlet said...

Make sure that you get a feature in FT Magazine with this idea, Mr Chairman. I'd also suggest getting Lily Allen and James Brown [the hair-stylist] on board to give it the cool factor.
You'll be quids in.
Sx

Chairman Bill said...

Scarlet: Yeeooowww! Gettup offa dat ting!

Oh, you didn't mean that James Brown.

FT Magazine? Do you perchance mean the ever popular Foot Traction Monthly?

Ms Scarlet said...

I'm actually a bit of a fan of the FT at the weekend. I was very surprised at how down to earth it is... I don't read the financial bit - obs - but the culture and weekend section is like, hot.
It has really good pictures.
Sx

Chairman Bill said...

Scarlet: You don't live at Yew Cottage in the village do you? They always have an FT at the weekend.

I prefer perusing the Daily Mash and the odd bit of deeply perverted DIY.

Chairman Bill said...

PS - reading the FT would contaminate my self-opinionated distribes with fact, and I can't have that.

Steve Borthwick said...

"happy birthday, Mrs Queen"??? - you looking for some kind of gong CB? ;)

Chairman Bill said...

SB: Just a little mention in dispatches, perhaps.

Charlene said...

This might work.

In the US the GOP [aka grand old party] can strip health care, education, pensions and rights to collective bargain at your work while we diddle about who might win Dancing With the Stars.

Modo said...

..."you looking for some kind of gong CB?"

From your photograph I already had you pegged as the Marquis of Blandford... am I in error?

Chairman Bill said...

Lucien - oink!