Monday, 12 December 2016

It's All in the Timing


Overheard while having brunch at A local cafe:

Hay: "I see that other coffee shop has closed again. We have enough coffee shops here, we need a decent restaurant that's open in the evenings."

Chairman: "How about an Austrian themed restaurant with all the staff in lederhosen?"

Hay: "A bit too S and M."

Chairman: "How about one called Roadkill; all our food is freshly scrapped from local roads first thing in the morning."

Hay: "Sometimes I think you're mad."


OK - now you can start to think about putting your Christmas tree up. You complain about Christmas songs in supermarkets in November, Easter eggs being available straight after Christmas, but you then go and collude by putting your bloody Christmas trees and decorations up well before the due date.

Time was when they went up on the afternoon of December 24th, then it transmogrified to the 3rd Sunday after Advent under pressure from the Christmas Tree Growers' Association and now many are putting them up in late November, thinking they're American and blowing a kiss to Thanksgiving, a celebration centred around a bunch of right-wing, religious fundamentalists who left England by way of the Netherlands, as they felt religiously oppressed, so they in turn could become religious oppressors!

By the time Christmas actually arrives the kids are already fed up with damned thing and the look of awe has turned to one of extreme boredom. I blame that hideous invention, the fake tree, which extends Christmas by a month - in both directions!

I'll probably make a start on the planning next week, but I can't see the tree (if indeed it is a tree this year) going up before the 21st or 22nd.


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