Saturday 12 September 2009

Leftover pikeys


Overheard in the caravan:

Chairman: “I think I’ll cook that Nigel Slater recipe we saw on TV the other night – end of week leftovers.”
Hay: “But we don’t have any leftovers.”
Chairman: “That’s OK, I’ll go and buy some.”

The Chairman has heard it mooted that Scottish singing sensation, diva and X-Factor winner, Susan Boyle, is about to star in a porno movie.

Here’s a good article on the legalisation of drugs. I fully concur with the conclusions. As I’ve said here many a time, legalise them and a lot of our troubles will disappear overnight. It’s strange, but look behind every ban, or attempted ban on something from which people can feasibly derive pleasure and you’ll find a right-wing Christian. It’s also a fact that every ban on something from which people can feasibly derive pleasure produces even worse consequences than those attributable to the thing being banned in the first place.

A group of pikeys arrived on the common (the other side of our field's hedgerow) last night. Why do they always have a small yappy dog that won’t shut up? The sight of our caravan must have made them think they were among friends. Must go and visit them later and see if they need any mattresses, upturned prams or burned-out cars. Hope to hell they're not the type that leave more mess than the combined internal capacity of their caravans; we sometimes do get quite decent pikeys who clear up after themselves, but in the main they're the disgusting sort.


9 comments:

The Irascible Fairy said...

It's true what that say then - Travellers are the last minority group it's acceptable to discriminate against?

Richard x

Chairman Bill said...

Richard: Bloody right - if they leave all their shit behind!

♥ Braja said...

Susan Boyle should totally star in that sequel.

Alan Burnett said...

The problem with your posts is that when I read them I tend to agree with them and then feel slightly guilty that I do. Are you contagious?

Kat said...

LaLa has a girl in her class who is a traveller. I guess they have settled down now and no longer live in a caravan, however, her mother is quite strange. LaLa is free to socialize with the girl at school, but I don't think I will be sending her to visit at her house for a playdate any time soon.

Chairman Bill said...

Braja: I totally agree.

Alan: Feel very guilty, you old curmudgeon.

Kay: It depends on the individuals and it's easy to generalise (as we all must occasionally).

Phil said...

I wondered about the common when i was there.. looked like an ideal place to put my BUS..

do you have to register as a gypo to get the rights they obviously think they have !

we will be in Jolly old England next week but fear no time to socialise..

Phil

Chairman Bill said...

Phil: Your bus would be most welcome, providing you don't want to live in it - as we would be taking it over. I somehow doubt you'd get that huge machine down the lane though.

Louise | Italy said...

Our neighbours have been busy this summer destroying pathways and staircases with oversize loads of building materials and knocking down fruit trees with oversize bags strung from helicopters. You don't have to live in a caravan to be a pest...