Saturday, 6 March 2010

Keeping Your Distance


Overheard in The Dog:

The Chairman, Hay and the Chairman's mate, Phil, are in The Dog pub having dinner. Phil is recounting a trans Atlantic voyage towing some massive buoy in a tug.

Phil: "You wouldn't believe the distance across the Atlantic at 4 knots."

Chairman: "Yes, it's exactly the same distance at 20 knots."


17 comments:

The Irascible Fairy said...

I hate to be picky but that's not true - the effects of weather will act over a longer time at 4 knots than at 20 knots - therefore total leeway will be greater - thus distance is greater!

Richard x x x

Chairman Bill said...

Richard: Hate to be picky too, but while one may traverse more water, the distance over the ground from A to B will remain the same.

The Irascible Fairy said...

Certainly the absolute distance will remain the same - but that is not the distance a ship will steam - apart from weather and current one has to go round the lumpy bits - and the Master may well choose a different route at 4 knots to one at 20 knots - AND you were talking about ships steaming time and didn't mention absolute distance. So Yar Bo!

The Irascible Fairy said...

And of course the effect of strong tide, current and weather would be to physically move the ship away from her expected course line thus travelling a greater distance

Richard x x x

Chairman Bill said...

Richard; It most certainly is the distance she will steam, it's the distance over the ground that will be logged in the logbook, not the distance through the water. Nah nah, na-naa-nah.

The Irascible Fairy said...

It;s further to China on a slow boat!

Richard x x x

The Irascible Fairy said...

The distance over the ground would be greater due to leeway. If I'm 5 miles off course I don't pretend that I'm not for the logbook - that's 5 miles extra

Chairman Bill said...

Richard: If you're 5 miles off course, your satnav is knackered and your autopilot possibly needs attention. Can I sell you one of each?

The Irascible Fairy said...

Again you didn't tell me that there was a sat nav on this ship - is it directly connected to the auto-pilot and is the Master allowing it to be used in this mode.

Chairman Bill said...

Richard: Naturally - he's an Old Conway and the very model of a modern major general. Oh no, that's something different, ain't it?

The Irascible Fairy said...

I have a strong suspicion that an awful lot of OCs would be insisting on hand steering and use of sexton only.

I have found that connecting auto-pilot and sat nav can be a little exciting if the sat nav decides that it needs to make a sudden correction just as you're passing lumpy bits or tankers. But useful for great circle courses.

Perhaps a little something from Pinafore? "I'm poor little Buttercup" perhaps

♥ Braja said...

Oh, for chrissakes, somebody buy these two a drink....

♥ Braja said...

btw I didn't know you and Hay were into role reversals. Do you also swap clothes?

♥ Braja said...

And for pity's sake, can't you do something about this crappy black background? It kills my eyes.....

(said with full understanding that last week when I called another blogger's background 'black crap' she threw a fit, spat the dummy, went ballistic, and ended up writing "I am done with you" to me, though unfortunately not before she'd spasticated all over email. I just made that word up and I frikkin' love it.)

Chairman Bill said...

Richard: What would an OC be doing on a vessel with a church officer charged with the maintenance of the church buildings and/or the surrounding graveyard and ringing of the church bells?

Braja: Now don't try to separate us. Collateral damage, and all that....

Chairman Bill said...

Brfaja: Role reversal?

♥ Braja said...

Well, I thought you were the Chairman. But you write "The Chairman Hay, and the Chairman's mate, Bill..."