Tuesday, 30 March 2010

Stupid Cnuts

The plant food and 'legal high', Mephedrone, is to be made illegal in the UK. One can’t help but feel that this penchant for banning everything that could possibly harm us is like hanging up a large sieve into which water is running and constantly running around to try and plug the holes. It’s utterly futile and achieves no lasting change in behaviour – it’s somewhat redolent of King Cnut (or Canute) trying to command the waves to retreat – although Cnut was being ironic in his action. Politicians, however, do sometimes behave like stupid Cnuts.

Reported effects of mephedrone use include increased alertness, euphoria, excitement, feeling of stimulation, the urge to talk and openness (a bit like the effect shopping has on women). Side-effects include luxuriant growth, well-formed flower heads and deep roots. The correct dosage for mephedrone is 1gm in a 5L bucket of water and spread over an area of about 5 square metres. Then sniff, making sure you don’t inhale any soil or stones in the process.

Have a read of Professor David Nutt’s bit on mephedrone in the Gruniad.

Perhaps becoming an MP should be banned, as it tends to screw around with your decision-making abilities and makes you think you can do things that normal people wouldn’t be allowed to do, like fiddling your expenses beyond all reasonable bounds and believing yourself to be above the law..

We’re meant to be having an Easter meal over at the Caravans’ next weekend. Hay was wondering what we should have and mentioned that Lidl are doing rib-eye steaks. I suggested we should keep with the ethos of the season and have bunny followed by crunchy, chocolate-coated chicks for pudding.


  1. It is that time - a few weeks before an election - when politicians respond foolishly to the desire of the great British public to:-

    • Ban things

    • Lock people up

    • See Politicians cry

    • Extend prison sentences

    • Bring back hanging for everything including parking in MY parking space

  2. Isn't it odd how when we are not criticising politicians for responding to the quite illogical demands of the ridiculous British people we tend to be criticising politicians for not doing what they are elected to do.

  3. Chocolate coated chicks....disgusting! They are far better lightly fried in a buttered bun.

  4. Next they'll be banning jogging because endorphins give you a "legal high" ...

    Anyone that is stupid enough to guzzle plant food when even cider is cheaper should probably be removed from the gene pool ;)

  5. Richard: Quite.

    Alan: Nothing funny in that. It's in our nature.

    Arvus: Live though, yes?

    Steve: Ah, but it ain't actually plant food.