Hayne's Lancaster Bomber Owners' Workshop Manual

On Tuesday I went to Bath with No.1 son so he could spend his Xmas book tokens. While scrutinising the shelves at Waterstone’s I spotted these books from the Hayne’s Owners’ Workshop Manual series, used by motorists throughout the UK:

Given Caravan (Hay’s dad) has a penchant for WWII aircraft, I am considering buying him the Lancaster Bomber Owners’ Workshop Manual or his birthday on Valentine’s Day.

A motorist who flashed oncoming cars to warn them of a speed trap has been prosecuted for obstructing a police officer in the course of her duty. Next time I see someone travelling too fast, I shan’t bother to do my civic duty and warn them to slow down, additionally absolving myself of any responsibility for the ensuing death and carnage when he or she ploughs into a bus stop full of elderly Viagra addicts at the next bend.

Irrespective of the motorist’s intent, it should not be a crime to attempt to prevent a motoring offence taking place. The police themselves are guilty of this, as they have, by law, to place a sign a certain distance in front of any speed trap as a warning.

Saudi Arabia has detained a vulture on a charge of spying for the Israelis because it had a GPS associated with an Israeli university attached to its leg. They must have thought that its beak gave it away. Next they’ll be saying the shark that was recently cruising and attacking people off Sharm el-Sheikh was an Israeli spy; oh, hang on – they have accused the shark of being a Zionist agent!

While the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority (IPSA) chairman, Sir Ian Kennedy, says he believes the revamped expenses system is "working well", some MPs are pressing for IPSA to be scrapped - saying it is too bureaucratic and costly. I wonder if that’s because no MP has managed to abuse his or her expenses since the IPSA came into existence. Saying it’s too bureaucratic and costly sounds like a good argument for scrapping any and every policing service. Methinks the MPs protest too much.