Wednesday, 21 February 2018

Dog Shit Markets

Overheard while walking into town:

Chairman: "Who is that lad on the other side of the road?"

Hay: "One of Chis and Ralphs - eldest."

Chairman: "They don't have a kid called Elvis!"

Hay: "What are you talking about?"

Chairman: "You said he's called Elvis. Neither of Chris and Ralph's boys are called Elvis."

Hay: "Eldest, not Elvis!"

Hay was selling something on Facebook Market. A bloke responded on Messenger with a voice clip asking a few questions. Hay, not being very familiar with Messenger, responded by pressing the wrong button and sent him a dishevelled photo of her in her nightie with a quizzical expression on her face. He must have been horrified. She'll be getting a name for herself.

When we were hacking the undergrowth from the bridge over a local stream over the weekend, we can across several plastic bags of dog shit. why do people bother to collect their dog's shit in a plastic bag and then dump the bag? They'd be better just leaving the dog shit on the grass, for God's sake! Foxes, badgers, etc. are meat eaters and shit in fields without it causing plagues.

Talking of dogs, I'm convinced that what with Hay's obsession with cats, the only way I'm ever going to have a dog is to offer my services as a dog walker.

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