Thursday, 6 May 2010

Fanning the Flames of Democracy


Just to return briefly to the safe drinking limits; when ships were made of wood and men were made of steel and pansy was the name of a flower, sailors in the English Royal Navy had a rum ration comprising half a pint a day. That was 13 units a day. Compare this to the safe drinking limit of 4 units a day. On top of that they were fed 5,000 calories a day.

Well, by this time tomorrow we’ll know which of the party leaders will have told the most convincing load of old bollocks, not that this will necessarily mean he will be leading us on the road to the most draconian tax rises since King Billy slapped 2 shillings on windows in 1696. I guess that’s where the term ‘getting away with daylight robbery’ came from.

I wonder what little tax wheezes the politicos will come up with?

  • iPod tax?
  • CrackBerry Tax?
  • SUV tax?
  • SMS tax?
  • Chav tax?
  • Obesity tax?

Psychic Bill’s prediction is that the country will be led - possibly after a small hiatus - by a white, Anglo-Saxon bloke of between 43 And 59 with an N in his name and a predilection for not telling the whole truth; however, I am merely a conduit for the spirit guides and so cannot take full credit for the prediction’s 100% accuracy.

Given the poison chalice it is, one wonders why anyone would even want to lead the country in this time of deep economic crisis - unless it was purely a 'power thing'.

In typical, hot-headed, Mediterranean fashion, the Greeks have rioted in protest against their government’s austerity measures. The police responded to a fire-bombing of a bank with pepper (presumably in those large pepper mills you get in tavernas and trattorias the world over), calamari cannons and rounds of rubber baklava.

That’s always been the problem with the Greeks – they had lots of democracy, but little in the way of social cohesion beyond the city limits and hence had big problems taking over the known world for any sustained period. The Romans, on the other hand, had shed-loads of social cohesion, but when it came to the pinch were somewhat light on democracy.

A bit of useless information for you. What shape would you think a candle flame took in zero gravity? The answer is spherical.




5 comments:

  1. Damien,
    Now that is the problem with political leaders these days, they ask you a question and then spoil things by immediately giving you the answer. I could have spent the day trying to figure out what shape a politicians's balls would be in zero gravity but you have to spoil iyt all and tell me. As for the recreation ground you asked about, I must confess I really haven't noticed but will revisit the place next time I am in Sheffield (if it has not split from the Union by that time).
    Oliver

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  2. Spherical is good - it lets you return to the place where you began, every time you get lost! :)Bit like the upcoming election fiasco...

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  3. Reality TV tax or perhaps "texting" tax maybe even a levy on the word "like", we'd clear the deficit in a matter of days... :)

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  4. I think there will be a tax applied in London on the word 'innit', and large hoop earrings, innit.
    Your Spirit Guides are truly astounding in their wisdom.

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  5. Just so long as this 'land of the blind' isn't being led by a 'one-eyed king' after the hiatus, it is OK with me ...

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