Sunday, 30 May 2010

PM Praises Neat Excuse of MP Caught With Hand in Till


Prime Minister, David Cameron, yesterday effusively praised the privacy protection excuse given by the now ex-Chief Secretary of the Treasury, David Laws, in his attempt to justify nicking £40k of public money.

Calling Laws ‘a good and honourable man’ for only having come clean after being caught by the Daily Telegraph. Cameron also said that he hoped Laws could ‘serve again’, once the scandal had died down a bit.

Celebrity stalker, Max Paparazzi, said it was inevitable that Laws should end up like this, he was after all an investment banker at JP Morgan and BZW before becoming an MP.

We were in a delicatessen yesterday and I was looking at a jar of harissa. The front of the jar said: “Harissa is a north African chilli sauce, made with garlic and lemon.” The back of the jar said: “Ingredients: piri piri chili peppers, tomatoes and Paprika.” What happened to the garlic and lemon?

Have you noticed that the kids’ bedroom in your average semi-detached is now unerringly referred to as ‘the nursery’? I thought only the aristocracy had kids’ bedrooms comprising suites of rooms that could in any way be described as a nursery.

Apparently the Eurovision Song Contest was held yesterday. Can't say as I noticed. How the hell can you have Azerbaijan in a Eurovision contest?

Ever had a bogie valve? You know, that bit of dried snot well up inside your nose that’s come partially detached and flaps about as you breathe in and out? Had one yesterday and was trying desperately to eliminate it without Hay noticing.


3 comments:

  1. Bent politicians, dubious sauce and flapping snot : what combination to wake up to on a Sunday morning.

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  2. Bill that bogie thing is disgusting I hope Hay slaps you if she catches you.
    Perhaps Garlic and lemon are all part of the government cut backs.

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  3. I do think we need to probe more into how Mr Laws retired from the City a multi-millionaire at 28 before devoting himself to the honest lot of a politician...

    I smell insider trading, however, since I have a flapper up my nostril I may be mistook!

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