Saturday, 4 March 2017

Nice Airport Loos & Jags

I decided I had to go to the loo in Nice airport yesterday afternoon. Walked into a cubicle and noticed there was no loo seat, not even a lid. "OK," things I; "perhaps it's been vandalised." But no - the other cubicles were identical, there was no obvious sign of vandalism and there were no fixings for either seat or lid. "Perhaps this is a new type of design," I say to myself and continue with what needed to be done. 

Nearing completion I adjust my seating ever so slightly, and whoosh - the loo flushes automatically, triggered by a sensor behind me, with a certain area of my anatomy getting doused in cold water. This is obviously a design flaw that hasn't been thoroughly tested before being put into production. Either that, or Frenchmen don't mind having their nads irrigated as a prelude to wiping their arses.

Wish I'd taken a picture - not of me on the loo, but of the loo itself.

Got back to Heathrow T5 parking area and discovered, to my dismay, I'd left the lights on when leaving the car, with the consequence the battery totally was dead. A nice chap in an APCOA van gave me a jump start (the service was complimantary, but I gave him a tenner) and off I went on the M4 towards Bristol, but with no radio as the power had gone and it required the code (which was at home). The Merc gives a loud warning if you leave your lights on - they Jag may do that, but it certainly isn't loud enough to attract your attention on a noisy airport parking lot.

Just before the junction for the A34 there had been a rather nasty car smash, resulting in a very long tail-back through which I was crawling at slow speed for about half an hour. Finally got past the accident, put my foot down, and the power immediately dropped off with a glow plug warning light coming on. Limped home at no more than 60 MPH, arriving an hour later than originally forecast. Should have had the Jag fully serviced when I got it, rather than just having an oil change - but there again, it could be a crankshaft sensor.

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