Monday, 6 March 2017

Overheard Wolves

Overheard when Hay went into my tool shed:

Hay: "Who's been buying pressure washers at Lidl?"

Chairman: "I used my dinner money."

Hay: "Dinner money?"

Chairman: "Well, I didn't get back home till late Friday night, so we didn't go out to dinner."

Overheard in Lidl:

Hay: "Do you want a bottle of Côtes du Rhône?"

Chairman: "No - don't really like French wines. They haven't got the hang of it yet."

Hay: "Crianza?"

Chairman: "Isn't that a large piece of living room furniture? Oh no, that's a credenza."

I've often wondered if, when you're being attacked by a wolf, the best weapon is a stick - not to beat it with or fend it off, but to throw, hoping the wolf would stop in its tracks and go and chase the stick.

If there's a dog breed I hate with a vengeance, it's the chihuahua. They have a massive chip on their diminutive shoulders and have a habit if sitting stock still, peering at you sideways with their pop-eyes and snarling. Detest the little buggers. Nearest thing to a cornered rat.

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