Friday, 8 May 2009

Friday 08/05/09

The traffic around Old Sodbury is going to be horrendous this weekend due to the Badminton Hose Trials. We’re hoping for a conviction.

I’m probably about to commit heresy in the eyes of most of the British public, but Joanna Lumley has become a hideous parody of herself in her quest to gain residency rights for ex Gurkha soldiers who served in the British Army. She decried the fact that the Prime Minister didn’t response personally to any of her letters, as if to say she should be accorded instant access to him by virtue of being a celebrity with Living National Treasure status. The phrase: "Do you know who I am," comes to mind.

Earlier in the week I heard Lumley saying that she’d written a personal letter to Brown and sent it at midnight – the assumption being that it had arrived at 10 Downing Street in the early hours. Do celebs have access to a letter delivery service that’s hidden from we mere mortals? If I were to pop something in the post, it wouldn’t be collected till the next day and then I’d consider myself lucky if it arrived within 3 days.

Personally I can’t see why any Gurkha would want to live in the UK. While their meager pensions enable them to live like kings in Nepal, they wouldn’t stretch that far in the UK and they would even find it extremely difficult to live like MPs.

Went to HQ in Basildon yesterday and had to rise at sparrow’s fart to ensure I could negotiate the M4 and M25 without substantial delay. This meant dressing in the dark, with the result that on arriving at head office I found I’d put my jocks on back-to-front. Panic moment when I went for a pee.

My boss has just bought a 2nd hand Aston Martin DB7. He’d offered me a drive around in it at lunchtime, but sadly there wasn’t enough time. The man is in his early 40s, no wife (or partner or girlfriend) and no kids. That’s enabled him to blow £40k on a car – a car which has back seats capable of carrying only small children, dwarves or amputees.

The following sequence of images are solely for my male readers – women simply won’t understand them.

One of the girls at work gave me some money saving tips for my elder daughter’s wedding. Apparently you can send an image of your favourite designer wedding dress to someone in a sweatshop in Hong Kong who will knock it up for you for under £150. I’ve yet to determine details, but will report when I do so.

Yesterday’s foray to Basildon was to partake in a strategy meeting, strategy being a word which heretofore has had no meaning within the company, but is now the latest buzz word (despite few having any inkling as to what’s involved in developing a strategy). It was pointed out that our company is expert in changing its name, having had about 5 name changes in the space of 7 years (and they wonder why so few in our market recognise us). A news item on the radio yesterday caused me to think how a large number of companies change their names willy-nilly for no good reason (Norwich Union, for example), while others desperately need a name change, but seem reluctant to do it. The news item said that British Gas had reduced its electricity prices by 10%. Now if ever a company needed a name change to reflect what it actually does, it’s British Gas. The news headline sounded as incongruous as hearing that British Airways had reduced the price of its cars.


  1. When my mother hit 43 she went and bought a Saturn Sky (look it up, it is fab) on a whim. She doesn't have kids in the house anymore, she should have some fun. Although it is a pain when we come to visit and we have to borrow my Dad's car. Oh and she won't let my Dad drive her car.

  2. Kat: Ah - I remember when I was 43. I went back to my youth and bought an MGB-GT, having built a number of them in my younger days. Sadly, the advent of two young children meant exchanging it for a Volvo Estate.

  3. At least that dark morning you didn't put your pants on over your trousers...

  4. What was that black shiny thing? I didn't get it.

    Your comments about Joanna Lumley made me laugh. The National Treasure thing is getting a bit old.

    My husband, who works for British Gas (a name which we all use, despite its variants -- BG, Centrica and other nonsense), has many good explanations for the price of your gas/electricity. He would like you to know that British Gas has to underwrite the heating bills for all of the poor and downtrodden amongst us, while those French and German prats do sod all for the UK. By the way, he will be in strategy meetings all day.

  5. Jinksy: Or over my head!

    Bee: See, I told you the images would mean nothing to you. What do women care for pistons?

    Perhaps BG should gance its name to British National Power - BNP.

  6. Ooo, that sounds aggressive.

    BTW, I go to Reading all the time and I'm not aware of an island in the middle of the river. Please explain? I wish that we could establish where Kate Bush lives for once and for all!

  7. Having read Kat's comment, I looked up the Saturn and it's COOL! I think it could go on the cool wall, or even the sub-zero. But Jeremy might have other ideas.

    When I turned 43 hubs bought my car (long story, has something to do with me no longer owning my own business). So he now drives my Landrover Defender 90. And then he bought me a very handy, small and economic car to do the shopping. Uhuh. A Range Rover. A second hand one I hasten to add. It's very comfortable and has a great sound system and a German (?) speaking lady that reads the map if I suddenly can't find the Lidl or Aldi anymore. But parking the big bugger can be very challenging.

    Sorry to blog in your commentspace ;-)

  8. Hi Bill,

    I dig your blog. I found it through....shit, I can't remember (it might have been Pearl). Anyway, I'll be back to read more.


  9. Carolina: The Saturn is so girly! Not a "man" car...

    IB: You found my blog through shit?

  10. Love your (low key) sense of humour and writing style.

    And, oh, look! What a pretty car! All those cute gadgets!

    (alas, no hideous distinguishing features on my photo I.D. - thanks for the visit...)

  11. Being the mother of a child whose first sounds were 'vroum, vroum' and who, eighteen years later doesn't seem to have progressed much further, I reckon I know more about cars than most of the male readers on this site! Nice motor!

  12. I saw that lady, and I use the term loosely, being interviewed the other day and thought she was a bit of.......let's say......let me be eccentric???? I dunno......
    Great news about the knock off wedding gowns (especially if you're not bothered by the lil sweatshop issue....which I'm not. Hey a girl's gotta save a dime) . Who the hell will know different unless you tell them anyway right???
    And...........I DO get it about the snaps of the cars Chairman Bill. Some women like a little thrust in the throttle sometimes. I know, that was just plain wrong of me, no??
    Have an EXTREME weekend and..........

    Steady On
    Reggie Girl

  13. Beth: Thank God you didn't say 'humor'.

    Drag: Sure you didn't give birth to a car?

    MMM&RS: Look up Absolutely Fabulous on YouTube and you'll see her in action as Patsy Stone. Hilarious.

  14. Never thought of that - perhaps the child is in fact a car in disguise.

  15. You doing pics of handbags next, then, Sir!