Thursday, 29 March 2012

Benefit Pack of Compound Eyes (Panic!)


Don't panic! There are enough face transplants and breast implants to go around for everyone. No need to stockpile people bits, false or otherwise (I wonder if that will start a panic).

Why do so many women want breast implants in the first place? Looking at the ones on the news who want their dodgy ones replaced, you'd think a decent haircut and a few make-up tips would suffice.

Yesterday I went to the JobCentre to sign my dogs up for benefits. At first the lady said; "Dogs are not eligible to draw benefits." I explained to her that my dogs are mixed in colour, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and have no clue who their fathers are. They expect me to feed them, provide them with housing and medical care. So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify. My dogs get their first benefit cheques next Friday.

Forgot about this photo - it was taken a couple of days ago when I was doing the washing up (yes, miracles do happen!).


The dishwater just came alive, spontaneously created order from chaos and made itself a perfectly serviceable and well-formed compound eye with which to stare me out.

After a little chat, I pulled the plug on it, which I guess nature must have done a billion times before  primordial dishwater finally resulted in the Liberal Democrats. Not exactly the apogee of evolution, but a reasonable stab.


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