Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Truth About Cash for Access to the Donkey Post


Overheard in the Caravan:

Hay: "I'd like you to reduce your wine intake to one glass a night."

Chairman: "No problem, just get me a pint wine glass."


Overheard watching Michael Portillo talking about train journeys:


Portillo: "My memories of holidays as a child comprise strawberries, trains, beaches, and yes, the occasional donkey."

Chairman: "His father was Spanish. Probably remembers eating the donkeys."


There's uproar at the Chipping Sodbury Yacht Club. 

The outgoing Commodore has confirmed that he is prepared to accept cash for access to him. A £100 donation to club funds will buy the donor a pint with him at The Boot. A £250 donation to funds will buy a seat at the Commodore's table over a vindaloo curry at the Sultan restaurant in Chipping Sodbury High Street.

Ever noticed that when people are interviewed on radio or TV and they say; "The truth of the matter is...." then the next thing that comes from their mouths is anything but the truth.

The Chairman understands from the interweb that the cost of a first class stamp is shortly going to be 12 shillings. I shall write to my MP and demand lunch with the Prime Minister! That's the same as a stand seat at the Millwall v Workington match (Workington were at home) during the 64/65 season. Disgraceful!

Must try out some of this synthetic biology stuff that's all over the news and see if I can make an MP from some potato peelings and some basic building blocks of life - air, water, fire and earth - or possibly a mix of the basic humours, like phlegm, black bile, yellow bile and blood.


10 comments:

  1. Ah, the good old days, back when mills had walls and there was work to be found in Workington.

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    Replies
    1. ...and you could get change from a farthing...

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  2. Aha! Spent bloody ages trying to find your URL only to remember you live in Chipping Sodbury and you have at least once or twice blogged about a boat / boats - turns out this post ranks #1 in google for "Chipping Sodbury boat blog". I could be a private investigator with skills like that.

    Anyway, good to see you're still around and as grumpy as ever.

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  3. Replies
    1. You trying to figure out who I am? I used to blog at jemjabella.co.uk but currently pretending it doesn't exist because too many work clients were stalking me

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    2. Aha! Was just looking at the cookies to review my audience spread.

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  4. 3/6d a day was what I was paid when I first did my National Service. It went up a little as time progressed. Got shot at, sweated buckets, lived in a tent in the desert and was almost beaten to the ground when doing riot patrols in Egypt - all for 3/6d per day. Good job stamps didn't cost 12 shillings then, or I would never have been able to write home to tell them how much I was enjoying myself.

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    Replies
    1. 3/6d a day! I was in the lap of luxury at £29 a month. Wine, women and song - and a 6 month voyage...

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  5. This is a great posting I have read. I like your article.

    ReplyDelete