Friday, 2 March 2012

Jesus' Tomb Found


Some blokes in Jerusalem have found what they claim to be the family tomb of Jesus under a block of flats.

The evidence for this is what they believe to be an etching of a fish symbol (below) representing  Jonah's whale on one of the tombs, which became one of the first symbols of Christianity.


Now personally I think this theory is baldersdash, as this is plainly an etching of a spacecraft (proving beyond a shadow of a doubt Erich von Daniken's theory that aliens visited us in the past), or at the very least a comet. Note the similarity with the image of the USS Enterprise from the Bayeux Tapestry.


In any case, it's simply not possible for there to be any remains of Jesus, as the bible tells us that he commanded his mates to hide the evidence by drinking his blood and eating his flesh (possibly with some fava beans and a nice chianti), leaving no earthly trace of his remains whatsoever.


11 comments:

  1. Another Easter, another Jesus tomb story! Usually after the snowdrops but before the cuckoo.

    Naturally I agree with your conclusion, but not with your reasons. Though, as I'm sure you know, the early Christians, were indeed accused of being cannibals/hannibals.

    There is a good thoughtful article on this latest Jesus tomb here:-

    http://asorblog.org/?p=1642

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    1. They should have left it till April 1st.

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    2. Ah - it could be spaceship he ascended to the heavens in!

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  2. This is nothing I've got the magic foreskin of Mary Magdalene in a shoe box under my stairs.

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  3. er, what is the church of the holy sepulchre? the body in the tomb is untouched since the mid-1st century and has unqualified provenance as the acknowledged burial. who wants to break the seal and unleash the curse?

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    1. Ever been there? Strange old place, what with the interminable squabbles between the various sects that inhabit the place. Went there last summer during a trip to Israel.

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    2. Old..? it's all relative.

      What did you think? Are the sectarian squabbles (those Ethiopians!) being used to prevent scientists opening the tomb and taking a DNA sample to resolve the unanswered questions once and forever, or is the big conspiracy just a big joke?

      We can be pretty certain 'Jesus' is in the box there, so the question is who was he?

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  4. PVB.. since when have you moved over to my dark side and agreed with me on the Alian theory... You know i was abducted at an early age ? snag was they put me back in Conway and I was shit scared to tell anyone... no you fool not about the Alians.. about being at Conway..

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  5. same as an space guy but smelled differently

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