Tuesday, 29 March 2011

Executions with Crossed Fingers

Overheard in the Caravan:

Chairman: “What’s that ming of burn in the loo?”

Hay: “A snuffed out candle – best air freshener in the world.”

Chairman: “I thought Kitty had taken her flints into the straw under the caravan and had lit her mouse BBQ.”

Cameron to Redress Decline in Executions

According to Amnesty International, the number of executions world-wide has suffered an inexplicable decline.

David Cameron has pledged, with Nick Clegg’s approval, to address this deplorable state of affairs by forcing through a law to execute the 149 people accused over the unrest in London on Saturday, which followed an anti-spending cuts march.

It is not thought many would object.

NATO Secretary General Crosses Fingers While Making Statement

The secretary general of NATO has insisted that it is "impartial" and coalition forces in Libya will not arm the rebels to attack Col Gaddafi.

Our correspondents suspect he had his finger crossed when he said that.

Crossed fingers, as every schoolchild knows, bestow legal immunity from the consequences of anything said while the fingers are crossed – at least that’s what the world (except for the Russians) hopes.


  1. I suspect the decline in executions results from the fear of prosecution of the executioner and the state by the victim under health and safety law.

  2. The Libyan rebel leadership are clearly hoping to take advantage of the "my dad's bigger than your dad" precedent.