Friday, 25 March 2011

Paleolithic Design & Technology

Overheard in the Caravan:

Hay: “Have you put something in your hair?”

Chairman: “Mmm, some of that serum you have in your cupboard for fly-away hair. The Barnett won't do as it's told today.”

Hay: “How much did you put in?”

Chairman: “2 squirts.”

Hay: “Far too much – makes your hair look greasy.”

Chairman: “You mean like Bryan Ferry?”

Hay: “More like Mersey Ferry. I think you have reverse body dysmorphia; when you look in a mirror you see Johnny Depp - when I look at you in a mirror I see John Prescott.”

Flint Knapping Passé, Says Ofsted

Ofsted has criticised Design & Technology teaching in British schools, saying that flint knapping and fire making were excised from the continental curriculum about 5,000 years ago.

While children in France and Germany are being taught robotics and Computer Aided Design, the UK’s children are still being instructed to make wobbly wheels and hideously misshapen clay jugs fit only for decorating their grandparents’ living rooms.

Chairman Bill, a D&T teacher from Old Sodbury with a master’s degree in Palaeolithic hand axe design, said: “You never know when you’re going to need a good stone axe or a flint arrowhead to kill a sabre-toothed tiger.”

What my son brought home from his D&T class.


  1. In my experience even at the cutting edge most educational software is pretty crap, and most teachers have no clue how to use it anyway, probably because there's no money in it.

    On that depressing note, I think I'll take a little (k)nap..

  2. With climate change, flintmanship could come in handy. Second only to fire-lighting.

  3. If I was stranded on a lifeboat in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean and for my choice of companion I could have either your Johnny Depp manifestation or your John Prescott one, I would go for two-Jags Prescott any day because at least he would be able to serve me with a half-decent gin and tonic.

  4. It's a close call - looking at recent events in Japan I wonder if flints and stone axes might be more useful in the long run? As to the caravan conversation, hilarious!!

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  6. Hey I can see gorilla and elephant motifs in those flint blades.

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