Friday, 18 March 2011

Peace in Our Working Lives

Calls for No Fly Zone Over Parliament Square

The forces of London dictator, Col. Boris ‘Mad Dog’ Johnson, have reoccupied veteran peace campaigner Brian Haw’s camp in Parliament Square.

Haw has responded that this is no more than propaganda and his rebel forces are still keeping Col. Johnson’s forces at bay.

Haw has called on the Green Party to support a No-Fly zone over the square, but fears that all the hand-wringing and procrastination will mean that nothing will actually happen – especially if, as expected, the Conservatives and LidDems decide to abstain or use their veto.

A man called Brian directing his troops while under fire in Parliament Square

Workers Should Start Younger, Says Chairman Bill

One of the problems facing employed people these days is that they will have to work longer to get their pensions.

Chairman Bill, raconteur and eminent sensible person, has suggested that people could still get their pensions at 65, providing they started work at the age of 10, as they did in the good old days.

Putting such as system into place would enable Britain to once more regain its lead position within the international chimney sweeping and cotton industries, as well as shortening the increasing lifespan of British citizens, which itself is causing problems with the pension system.

Additionally, this system would overcome the problem of the high cost of a university education at the precise time it can be least afforded by the simple expedient of putting it off till after retirement at 65.

Back to the 'good old days'


  1. It would be nice to see rickets and consumption back again; 30% infant mortality would be helpful too, at least a top 10 ranking. The UK has been slipping badly in the league tables of working poor people into an early grave over the last 100 years, its about time we pulled our socks up!

  2. Steve: I thought you were going to say how much Haw looks like a young Henry Fonda.

  3. Never did me any harm! Character building really.

    Good post.

  4. That Chairman Bill is a clever chap indeed; he will undoubtedly go far.
    If the international community had established a no-fly zone over the Pharaohs Egypt, the Israelites would never have escaped.

  5. I was going to say more like that bloke out of REM?

  6. Jenny: Nor me!

    Alan: I fully agree.

    Steve: You have a point.