Monday, 14 March 2011

Fatty Pang Cronyism for Luvvies

Fatty Pang Appointment to BBC Heralds New Era of Amateurism

Career politician Lord Patten’s appointment to the Chair of the BBC Trust, at a salary well in excess of £110,000, heralds a new era of rank amateurism, gross unsuitability and rampant cronyism in British business/politics.

The House of Commons committee responsible for selecting Patten expressed surprise at his lack of knowledge of the BBC’s output and was additionally worried that he already had too many jobs to perform his duties effectively.

Those problems, generally considered insurmountable for anyone who is not an ex-MP, were viewed as positive attributes in the case of Patten and served him well as Governor of Hong Kong. In fact, pundits are shocked Patten wasn’t selected to head a major bank and repeat the success of the last lot.

It is now expected that this wonderful example of arch-cronyism will lead to British business becoming more open to all manner of eminently unqualified candidates, thus enabling Britain to once more regain its crown as the laughing stock of Europe.

Stars on Big Salaries Warn of Dire Consequences of Arts Cuts to Their Salaries

Famous luvvies, including Kenneth Branagh, Jeremy Irons, Maxine Peake, Michael Sheen, David Tennant, Helen Mirren, Julie Walters, David Threlfall, Adrian Lester, Sam West, Miriam Margolyes, Peter Capaldi and Imelda Staunton have warned that cuts to the arts could end up meaning cuts to their salaries.

Pundits wonder why luvvies should be any different from the rest of us.

Professor Ramada Park Hall, emeritus professor of dramatis personae at the Dame Anna Neagle University of Dramatic Luvviedom, said: “They should perhaps start the cuts with that bastard Jonathan Ross and his grotesque salary.”

The immortal Dame Russell Brand as the definitive Hamlet – under threat?


  1. Luvvies are different from the rest of us because they have larger dry cleaning bills.

  2. Blimey! That's the best photo of Russell Brand I think I've ever seen.

    You've got to remember Actor's jobs are inconsistent. xx

  3. Patten at the feeding trough of the BBC, they might as well put the Pope in charge of our morality, doh!