Friday, 11 March 2011

iPhone App for Fostering Afghans

New iPhone App Tracks Muslims, Gays and Paedophiles

A new iPhone App, allegedly developed in association with the Daily Mail, has been released onto the market. The App tracks Muslims, homosexuals and paedophiles within a 100 metre radius of the user, sending out a high pitched whine of self-righteous indignation if they should dare to come within the detection radius.

Early adopter reviews suggest there may be a slight bug in the App, as it also tracks paediatricians, people using homophones in their speech and anyone wearing muslin.

An update is expected within the next few weeks that additionally tracks Eastern Europeans, evolutionists and benefit claimants, as well as ensuring the App can only be used by those with overt fascist sympathies.

Get in touch with your fascist side

Aztecs Must be Allowed to Foster, Say Campaigners

Daily Mail readers who are outraged by the recent judicial decision to not allow a Christian couple to foster children due to their irrational Bronze Age views on homosexuality, have argued that the ruling discriminates against deeply held religious morals, morals which are supposedly the foundation of British law – despite only commandments 6, 7, 8 and 9 having any real relevance to morality and none of them mentioning homosexuality.

A bunch of Neo-Aztecs are similarly campaigning that their deeply held belief that they must rip out and offer the still-beating hearts of human sacrificial victims to their gods should not bar them from fostering impressionable young children.

The Neo-Aztec campaigners pointed out that the Orthodox Aztecs were wiped out by Christians with deeply held religious views on morality - a vastly superior morality based on guns, white supremacy, genocide and the Daily Mail.

Religion dressed up as morality

NATO Endears Itself to Hamid Karzai by Mistakenly Killing His Cousin

NATO is going out of its way to win hearts and minds of Afghans by accidentally killing relatives of the Afghan President, Hamid Karzai.

Military strategists are of the opinion that NATO should go further in ensuring a close relationship with Afghans by selling guns to the Taliban, providing them with advisers and assassinating Hamid Karzai.

Shrinking family


  1. In a tie up with yesterdays post, some people seem addicted to "faith", there are many parallels one could draw.

    In other news I think there actually is an iPhone application that tracks gay people, but voluntarily and for the benefit of other gay people, Stephen fry showed it on a chat show once IIRC.

  2. I could do with one of those iPhone apps. It could sit alongside the app I have on my homescreen which gives me a direct link to The Thoughts of CB (not a joke, it actually exists)