Tuesday, 8 March 2011

Following Botched SAS Mission, Hague to Send in the Banks

Following the UK’s elite SAS reconnaissance force being captured by a bunch of amateurs who hadn’t lifted a rifle before a fortnight ago, William Hague has decided to send in crack units of bankers from the Queen’s Own Royal Bank of Scotland, the 4th Armoured Lloyds TSB and the HBOS Commandos.

It is intended that they wreak havoc with the Libyan economy through targeted bad investments, consequent government bail-outs and huge bonuses.

The UK public hope there will be a ‘serious misunderstanding’ and that Gaddafi or the rebels shoots the lot.

Intense training regime involving obscene amounts of your money.

One thing learnt from the SAS debacle is that Call of Duty (Black Ops) is no substitute for proper training.

Had a bizarre dream the other night – woke up mumbling about Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s Psychic Shopping Mall.

Any psychoanalysts out there please get back to me.


  1. Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s Psychic Shopping Mall : that wasn't a dream, it's just opened in an out-of-town location in Castle Bromwich. In this world that we live in, any strange thing your mind can dream up will no doubt have happened before the week is out. As your regular reports have so often shown.

  2. Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s Psychic Shopping Mall, I am worried you are turning American on us, surely you mean shopping centre?

  3. Kerrie: It was a dream. Round here the big shopping centres are called Malls - The Mall being a key one.