Saturday, 5 February 2011

Chaotic Farting in Bedsheets

Mubarak Redefines Chaos

Following on from the ‘Day of Departure’, the ‘Day of Hanging on Just a Bit Longer’ has resulted in Egypt descending even further into total and utter chaos.

Hosni Mubarak, however, said he can’t really step down in case the country descends into total and utter chaos.

Mubarak also said that leaving office would allow the largest opposition party by far, the Muslim Brotherhood, with a chance of actually forming a government, leading to the glaring implication that democracy should not be allowed to prevail, which is the very reason the demonstrators want to get shot of the octogenarian dictator in the first place.

It is thought Mubarak does not understand the word irony.

Malawi Farting Ban Makes Dieting Aid Illegal

A ban on farting in public potentially makes new dieting aid, Alli, illegal in Malawi.

Speaker Bercow’s Wife Causes Outrage Among Soft Port Stars

Sally Bercow’s soft porn shoot in a bedsheet has outraged soft porn stars who accuse her of bringing their profession into disrepute by associating it with politicians and other members of the criminal underclass.


  1. I wonder if he managed to claim for that sheet on expences.

  2. Christ, she'll be having an Essex face lift next and buying her knickers from New Look, then where will we be.

  3. Alan: Political coverage?

    SB: To be fair to her, she's actually wearing more than the average celeb at a function.

  4. I bet you see the sheet auctioned on eBay to fund the next erection campaign.